Guts before glory, love over consequence.
When did the later start prevailing and people become so scared? Scared to be hurt, scared to hurt others and scared to simply live? Its ironic how in modern times with all the technology to bring people together, it is in fact harder to not only build relationships but meet people in simple ways while making it easy to hide behind a text and email.
You cant interpret the words in a text the same as a one on one conversation and instead of introducing one another in a personal manner we opt for facebook friendships or obtaining phone numbers via mutual friend, taking the fun out of everything that you get with one on one time.
With the lack of courage, I proclaim chivalry to be dead, a statement often argued with, however if you revert back to the traditional meaning of the word and not the modern adaptation of it, it’s disappearance is evident and perhaps when it decreased, glory and consequence died?
What happened to the days of opening a girls ldoor as she exits a car? Walking on her right hand side to protect her from traffic incidents and standing at the table when she wishes to leave? Fighting for love despite embarrassment and openly admitting to being “whipped”. On which note, when did being whipped become such a bad thing? At what point in history did we become so scared to admit that our concerns and responsibility have extended to include another and to be happy about being in love?
You can barely blame boys (and men) in today’s society to over look gentlemanly behavior, as girls no longer act like “ladies”. We galavant around with language far from desirable and as slutiness has become more accepted in male society, we have adapted the belief it is ok for us also. Forgetting that the consequences for us are far more severe than males, as if something goes missing in the intercourse, we are the ones who bare a child for 9 months or ultimately have to make the decision to keep and raise it or not - a choice much easier in theory than in practice.
That old saying “behave like your mother is always watching” has been forgotten and behavior even in the presence of parents has become a disgrace.
In the past 100 years alone women have also risen up to being almost equal to men in all aspects of life. Politically speaking, career speaking and emotionally speaking.
The lines between each gender have become so blurred women dress as men and men as women. The traditional roles of each gender are also blurred as women no longer require men to be the bread winners of the family, infact they no longer need them to have children. So perhaps its unfair to question the existence of chivalry when it’s almost impossible for it to exist in modern times as its no longer required or expected.
But as a single girl, i can advise any guy that chivalry is always appreciated. Simple gestures of politeness are never over looked, and when its personalized its far more appreciated than a wolf whistle or arse grab. While the latter two are complimentary, in the same token they are degrading and install a sense of intimidation.
Like chivalry there is alway a lot of discussions about modern day dating. What is this “hanging out” thing we have all adjusted to? Is it merely a way to get to know someone without being do emotionally attached so enabling a chance to search else where while trialing the possible relationship? In which case, it should be obvious that if you’re looking else where while “hanging out” with someone, they haven’t got your full devotion and you both probably deserve better.
And when did girls have to start making the first move? (probably when we became “equal”) I get that boys are like girls in that they have feelings and get scared too, but girls are far less vain than boy, and in turn far more self conscious so at times they need the confirmation that they have a chance because while its common to see an attractive girl with a less than average guy, its rare to see the opposite and girls are very aware of that.
I read a blog once about putting boys in the “friend” zone and how degrading that is to guys. But truth is, when the shoe is on the other foot its the same for us. In the same week i watched a youtube video saying there is no such thing as co ed friendships - that one or both sides of the party are always interested in more or at least the sexual part of a relationship? The video interviewed many random street passers and while girls were more likely to answer yes (it is possible to have friends who are guys and have no sexual or emotional interest) all guys said no and when quizzed further few girls had guy friends who they weren’t interested in (in one way or another).
As i like to over analyze things (if you hadn’t picked that up already) it made me question all my guy friends - 50% of whom i find attractive but would not pursue my interest, but what does that mean for the other 50%? are they only friends with me because they want to sleep with me? Im not so full of myself that i think of that to be an option so i believe the video to be flawed but it poses another thought - if two friends want to sleep together, why don’t they? They already get along and know each other quite well, why be so scared to push the friendship further?
A point that resides back to the initial blog i read, if a girl wants you to be more than a friend and you suggest you do to, she will steer you in the right direction, and if her feelings are of lesser value it doesn’t mean she is purposely trying to hurt you, or that she doesn’t love you, but you’re simply not what she wants - a pendulum that swings both ways, as ive experienced this exact situation with one of my close male friends.
To summate (as i feel I’ve dragged on far too long as it is, although could continue for quite some time) guts, more admired than glory. Love, more enjoyable than consequence and bruised pride isn’t shameful, its brave. We speak of who we hate, what we hate and things we dislike so often, yet are scared to discuss the opposite feeling, of equal strength and greater power.
So for EVERYONE (boys mainly, but girls too) its time to step up. You might get rejected and that will suck (temporarily) but what if you dont get rejected? “Sometimes the greatest things in life are achieved via thirty seconds of total humiliation” - but it you’re not willing to try, you can (and most likely will) miss out on the greatest thing alive.
