There is a recent phenomenon taking over younger generations, its not one of fashion, culture or more commonly, technology. Instead it is of marriage - one of the most traditional events across the world.
It is the idea of setting out to make deals with friends to for “back up husbands” - like most phenomenons it’s one I’ve jumped upon full heartedly, having acquired three (possibly four) back up husbands should my “true love” never arrive.
However the term “back up husband” (or wife, for all you male readers) is often confused. For the most part my back up marriage will be more of an open relationship, unless the two parties agree and state otherwise. While some more strict than others, every body’s interpretation of their back up marriage rules is different, just like their ideas on real life marriage differ.
This current craze however has made me question society’s faith in true love and whether or not it exists?
Ive never been one to settle for less, so i am not so naive to think I will meet my prince charming and he will sweep me off my feet in a whirlpool of dramatic romance like in the movies and once married owe will picnic in the park and live happily ever after. But in the same token that has never stopped my from looking for him, yet should all else fail and my dream husband / “soul mate” never appear, I’ve made the arrangement that come thirty I will marry my reserve - so am I just being cautious or have i subconsciously given up hope and no longer believe that not everyone has their own true love?
Clearly the love in the “back up” marriage is predictably non existent, or at least not to the extent in which we (as females) all dream of. While in time (once married) we may grow to love each other and the feelings that traditionally necessitate marriage will form, it initially will not exist.
Why? Because they are not there now - if they were the “back up” idea would be unnecessary, the reserve husband would already be a fit boyfriend and if the feelings were reciprocated a relationship would already exist. However, if we are happy enough to marry them as a reserve, why continue to look for something else?
As material things have become more readily available to society and the choices have increased, have the lines blurred to the point where we have lost sight of what is material and what is not? Do we now associate love with items we can purchase on shelves?Or have we just come to always expect more, searching for something else and in turn looking over what is already in front of us?
They say if you stop loving someone you never really loved them in the first place, and if you look at the 50% divorce rate in all western societies, you’d be forgiven to agree with the statement.
Some people find love in comfort, knowing the person they’ve chosen to marry will cater to their every need, while others find it in providing that comfort. Some people are content to marry their child hood sweet heart, not knowing any different but not caring either way. While others find love in many, searching for that one person who matches every criteria in their head.
Im one for extra ordinary love. The one that is fun, happy, dramatical and exciting all at once. The whirl wind romances of fairy tales and romantic comedies - the ever lasting, heart skips a beat love - that’s hard to find and impossible to replace.
However i do think for the most part, like all good things in life, love is interpreted differently by everyone and while we may doubt its existence and lose faith in it, we always hope to believe in it - as love is the ultimate.